Sex and Second Life

Surprised Cat
This is what I looked like when I googled ‘Second Life Sex’ trying to find an image for this post.
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I know, I know, it’s a clickbait headline, but it really is what this post is about. 🙂

Lately, I have come across several posts and discussions about the subject.

Becky wrote a post about people’s views and activities concerning sex in SL.

I tried to participate in her survey, but alas, since I am not sexually active in SL, I didn’t get past question 1. 😛

Her survey showed some interesting perspectives about people’s views on sex in SL.

For many users (including me), SL isn’t about sex at all.

I saw another blog post from Ella over at SL Naturist.

She discussed Becky’s post and her take, including the viewpoints of some older men who are her friends.

Many people come to SL to enjoy the social aspect, which does not HAVE to include sex.

Ella’s post included a link that pointed me to the Prim Dolls blog, where Deoridhe has a whole series of posts on horrible (though often hilarious) encounters with sex-seekers.

Becky had also written a post about her feelings on random IM’s from men.

After reading through the various comments of those on Becky’s blog who commiserated about the whole situation, and reading through several of Deoridhe’s posts, I’m left scratching my head.

I can’t remember the last time someone randomly IM’d me with some lame line, looking for sex.

In fact, I’m not sure it’s ever happened to me.

I’ve never randomly received a dick pick from a stranger.

(In case you’ve ever thought sending a dick pick was a good idea, in RL or SL, check out this video of RL women and their reactions to dick picks.)

In fact, the only really comparable thing I can think of that’s happened to me was once when I was rehearsing.

I was at a dance venue, going over my routine for the next’s day performance.

I was wearing a rather revealing outfit from r2, and while rehearsing, received a random IM from some stranger complimenting me on a certain piece of my anatomy.

I was taken aback at first, but I simply said ‘Thanks,’ and promptly closed the IM box.

The person lingered on radar for another few minutes and then left.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m totally over the moon that I’m not constantly hit on by strangers for sex, because I can imagine how annoying it can be.

But – what gives?

Do I smell?

Am I not pretty enough?

Do I give off a ‘not in million years’ vibe and so no one bothers?

Is my profile somehow unfriendly?

Am I not hanging out at the right (wrong?) places?

What about you?

Is sex a large part of the reason you’re in SL?

What’s the most hilarious/awful pick-up line you’ve gotten (or given)?

Men Don’t Dance?

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After several of my posts about men in dancing in SL appeared, I got into conversations about why men don’t dance.

I don’t know why they don’t.  It seems like a win-win all around.

Here’s my reasoning:

  • As a male dancer in a (usually) mostly female dance troupe, your services as a dancer would be constantly in demand. (Who doesn’t like to feel wanted?)
  • With new tools making it easier to incorporate couples dancing, males are/may be in higher demand.  (See ↑.)
  • A lot of audience members are female, and they love to watch men dancing. (Again, see ↑.)
  • A chance to express your creativity through dance.
  • Dancing is fun!  Especially with a partner.

Now, it was pointed out to me that perhaps men feel that dancing in a troupe is too much like ‘dressing up dolls’ for fun.  Perhaps, although I would argue that that reasoning would apply to even being in SL in the first place.  Most of us don’t wander around naked.

Maybe men just are too lazy to learn how to do something as technical as dancing in SL.  It does require a bit of knowledge, after all.

Maybe dancing is viewed by men as a ‘girly’ pursuit and not worthy of their masculine attention.

I’ve also wondered whether the fact that (supposedly) most of the men in SL are actually women has any bearing on the lack of male dancers.  I’m not sure I buy either argument there.

It was also pointed out (by more than one person) that at any gathering of women (like in a dance troupe), there is guaranteed drama – something men avoid at all costs.  Probably more true than most women would like to admit.

So, what is the solution to getting more men interested in dancing in SL?  Make it more masculine?  Add tools?  Lasers?  Guns?  Make the ladies duke it out when they have a disagreement?  All of the above?

Let me hear your thoughts on this issue!